Continuing.

It's been about two years. I was reading some of my older posts. I realized I was a lot more.. puerile, not to mention a bit corny and over-idealistic. In fact, I deleted some of them to save myself from prepubescent nostalgia. I still do feel I am quite idealistic though, and I hope that does not dwindle. My nightmare is to become a pessimist, which is rather funny because people say I have depressing, conspiratorial ideas. I say NOT. However, overall I believe my goals and ideas remained quite consistent which makes me very happy to say the least. This is crucial to me because in this world, it's terribly easy to loose yourself as cliche as that sounds. A smart person once told me, write down your goals so you don't forget what they are and more importantly, who you are.

But I do need to change now, in a positive way. I need to mature. I need to move on. This year has been quite difficult for me, but as the Wise Book says 'with every hardship comes ease' and thus, here I am reflecting, hoping.

The wise people narrated that the Beloved (peace be upon him) would make istikhara for something as minor as changing a sock. Wouldn't I be foolish to not make istikhara for this..

'Ello Blogliens

Well, tis been over a year, and not much has happened.

Actually, I suppose I have. I am off to start my collegiate years. At the end of each year I like to see how I improved. So here it goes...

Uh, I write better essays. Haha.
I think I've actually gotten smarter. All those AP cramming has paid off.
I'm not as scared of the future as I use to be.
I pieced together a better understanding of Islam.
I have a better understanding what we all are fighting against.

Now the latter is quite imperative to me for many reasons. The most significant reason is that there is a force out there, two forces, actually. Those two forces have generally been depicted in every profitable imagination out there. We've seen in books, in Hollywood, in ancient folklore, etc. It's quite interesting to see that the greatest stories have a moral allusion of the battle between good and evil. But we must ask ourselves why is this trend consistent throughout human history? How is it possible that this idea has become instinct, almost, in the human perception?

The answer to that is simple: Because it is real. Unfortunately my answer to that was grammatically incorrect, but you get the idea.

It begins, or rather.. continues. InshAllah.

Dear Incognito,

I've been thinking a lot lately. In fact, it seems the only stuff I've got done lately has been thinking. But at least I've realized some important things. I kind of realized what my top priorities are, the hard way, but nonetheless, I've learned. I'm really going to try hard to not waste my time. If that means letting go of things, then so be it. I'm sick of things that bring me down.

I'm missing something. I need to get closer to Allah.
I need a catalyst.

The Farewells

I've said good-bye to many things now.


Maybe I should go to Pakistan for a while, visit my family.
And maybe go to Kabul, and rant about something useful.
I'm too caught up with American individuality and its complexities.

Mere zhindagi, mere jaan.

Currently

Restlessness, winter chills, confusion, hormones, anger, and sonatas.

I am not right.

Thou Shalt Surmount.

Assalamualaikum Warahmutullahi Wabarakatuhu,

These past three months have been overwhelming, which is actually a good thing. I wish I could describe how much I learned and matured.

It's almost unbelievable how much can happen in such little time.
I'm trying. I'm going to try harder. Step one.

Ya Khawliq,
Remove our blindness and deafness
Clean our hearts
Strengthen our spirits

Reflection.

This weekend was great. I went to an amazing lecture last night. And it's got me thinking more. I am distracted. I've been wasting so much of my life, and I now I regret it. So from now on, I'm going to work on numerous things and I'm promising myself things are going to change.

• Talking. Talking excessively is NOT a good thing. So this is going to end. No gossiping, backstabbing, and useless conversing.
  
• Laziness in prayer. I shouldn't have to elaborate. I need to hop to it when it comes to Salah.
• Laziness in school. This is going to end. No more procastinaing and such.
  
• Forgetting Allah. This is the most that I regret. I hope He can forgive me. I have to constantly remind myself of Him, inshAllah. Shaitan is the enemy and it's going to be this way from now on.
  

I'm looking forward to more this break. A D R E N A L I N E.